


Silent Song

by Luna_KaoriRose



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Alec is a dick, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Bad Parenting, Disability, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Sibling bond, Slowburn-maybe?, Xenophilia, Xenophobia, mute character, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-13 23:47:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28661952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luna_KaoriRose/pseuds/Luna_KaoriRose
Summary: Sara Ryder, mute since she was thirteen, struggles with the crown of being pathfinder, gifted to her by a father she never really cared for while trying to navigate life without her twin.
Relationships: Evfra de Tershaav/Female Ryder | Sara, Jaal Ama Darav/Male Ryder | Scott
Comments: 18
Kudos: 56





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Everyday_Im_Preaching](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Everyday_Im_Preaching/gifts).



> So. This was sort of inspired by Everyday_Im_Preaching and her Blind Ryder. This fic is different in that its set during the events of Andromeda, not after. But! I hope you enjoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was inspired a bit by Everyday_Im_Preaching's blind!Ryder fic that's set after the events of Andromeda. This is set during the events of the game and I hope you enjoy!

Something in Sara starts screaming from the moment she wakes up in Andromeda. 

Scott’s cryo pod is damaged and Sara doesn’t know how to live in a galaxy where Scott isn’t. 

When Sara was 10, she was a happy child. Bubbly and noisy, happy to chatter with anyone nearby who will listen. She sings off key and chases her twin with screams of delight, who in turn chases her. Their home is loud and joyful. 

When she was 13, there was something wrong with her. A feeling, like something lodged in her throat, unmoving even when she coughed. 

It was weeks before she told either parent. Until it became too painful for her to swallow. 

A trip to the doctor, examinations, scans. A diagnosis. 

Glottic carcinoma. Cancer of the vocal cords. Surgery, the only way to fix it. 

The terror of realizing she’d never make a noise again. The doctors mystified at how a thirteen year old girl could get a cancer most often reserved for alcoholics and the immunocompromised. 

She pleads with her mother, she doesn’t want to be mute. In turn, Ellen begs Alec. Brings up clinical trials, experimental treatments, alternative therapies, radiation. Anything to change his mind.

But, Alec’s face and voice are hard when he tells them no. He is N7, soldier, and by extension, so are his children. 

Sara will carry this burden and that is the end of it. 

After, when she wakes from the surgery, it is to pain more emotional than physical. She tries to scream with vocal cords that are no longer there, mouth bloodied by the strain. It takes two different nurses to restrain and sedate her. 

After, Sara is silent. Her voice is the ghost that haunts their once happy home. 

After, it is Scott who catches her, pulls her from the edge of a building. Scott, who holds her tight and cries tears she no longer could. Begging her not to leave him. 

Later, Scott learns sign language and takes it upon himself to teach it to her too. He never leaves her side. Their mother joins in but Alec is too busy, locked inside an office filled with his own silent guilt. 

Later, Sara discovers the beauty of music and doesn’t go without it, too afraid of the silence that surrounds her. Along with music she finds peace in Art. A thousand shades of a thousand colors brighten her soul and she no longer cries herself to sleep at night. 

She never really forgives Alec.

At fifteen she is better if only just. She finds a friend. The first other than Scott since no one at school speaks to the weird mute girl. 

He’s a boy. A Turian and the day they become friends she rushes home to tell her mother, signing with rapid fingers about him. Sara thinks he is beautiful. 

Sara makes the mistake of drawing him on the dining room table where Alec sees. He speaks directly to her for the first time in two years. Anger coloring his voice. 

“What is this? I can’t believe this nonsense. Sara, you better knock this shit off. I didn’t raise one of  _ them. _ ” 

Them being, in Alec’s words, the alien fuckers, the few exceptions to Alec’s no swearing rule. 

It wasn’t the first time he’d said something similar. The first being when she was 11 and caught staring, wide eyed at the family two doors down, made up of a human, a quarian, and a small boy in a typical enviro-suit. 

He’s never been the religious type so he doesn’t see the unions as sins against God. No. He sees them as sins against nature. 

Sara always wondered that if it were really a sin against nature, then why did the little boy in the quarian exo-suit have five fingers. 

Ellen tries to fix it. Tries to tell Alec that he’s only a friend from school. Points out that she doesn’t have many friends, the  _ because of you _ , is never directly spoken but there all the same. Alec retreats again. 

The damage is done. Sara no longer spends her lunch time with him. 

When she is seventeen, Sara graduates from school a year early at the top of her class, technically Valedictorian but they give the title away to the runner up because how could she possibly give a speech to her graduating class? 

Ellen tries to fight for her. To argue over translators. That it is wrong to give the glory to someone who didn’t work half as hard as she did. She fails again.

Sara pretends very hard that she isn’t bitter. 

Scott squeezes her hand during the entire speech. He pretends he isn’t as angry as she is about it. 

The Alliance is a whole different ball game. There, there is no pretending. The other recruits actively despise her. Because she is silent. But she is also better than they are; than they ever will be. 

Sara Ryder is smarter, faster, stronger with biotics that put almost all of them to shame. 

They hate her. She doesn’t care. 

Likewise, they adore Scott. Scott, who can strip guns and put them back together in less than 5 minutes flat. He is charismatic and funny, sarcastic and witty in a way that both frustrates the commanding officers and makes them laugh. 

He is her opposite in nearly every way.

Still. He doesn’t leave her alone. 

The only time they truly separate is after basic. She goes to outposts to be a peacekeeper, eventually discovering a love for unearthing prothean technology and deciphering the meaning behind them. 

Scott, the fighter that he is, is assigned to the Arcturus relay, determined to protect civilians from slavers coming through from contested space. 

When their mother gets sick. Sara breaks for the first time since she was thirteen. Her brother finds her curled up in a ball and joins her. He doesn’t say anything because he knows nothing he can say will make it better. Ellen Ryder was the only one in the world who’d ever actually fought for Sara. 

It is only when she sees how far Alec will go for Ellen that the bitterness returns. The clawing feeling burns from the inside out, suffocating her. 

She hates herself for being resentful. Resentful because he’d never gone to such far lengths for her. Hates herself because it's  _ her mother _ and  _ of course  _ they would do anything for her. 

Once, Sara had simply justified it for him. Told herself that Alec just didn’t have it in him to do that sort of thing for anyone. Clearly he could. Just not for Sara. 

Alec burns himself through trying to save the only person he’d ever truly loved and Sara was helpless but to watch him. 

Her career, the only thing she really had in life anymore other than Scott, turns to ashes because of it. So does Scott’s. 

Their mother dies and in a fit of fury, Sara signs something that Scott refuses to translate, horrified. Alec tries to demand it from him but it is SAM who answers. Flat and electronic, still not quite able to do the emotion thing.

“This is your burden to carry.” 

His face goes white and he walks away. 

It is Scott, not Alec, who convinces her to go to Andromeda. He wants to go, wants a new start and a new life without the shadow of their father swallowing them whole.

Sara can’t bear a life without him, her rock through life and so goes with them. 

She wakes first as the oldest and Scotts cryo pod is damaged within minutes, him still inside it. The Doctor puts him in a coma and says it's the best hope for him, not sounding very hopeful. 

Sara doesn’t know how to live in a galaxy where Scott isn’t. 

Yet another thing that Alec has ruined. 


	2. Eos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to get this finished and out! I ended up having to rewrite this one a few times because I wasn't really pleased with it. I also sort of realized the original style the prologue was written in wouldn't go very well for the rest of the story so I switched it up a bit while still trying to keep small slices of that style in but giving more details and staying true to the tone I set in the first part. 
> 
> Either way, I hope you all enjoy and thank you so much for the comments and kudos!

There is an outpost on Eos. They name it Prodomos. 

Eos is a dry, dusty plant and Sara doesn’t think she’s particularly fond of it. Browns and oranges span the horizon, far as the eye can see, broken up only by the occasional plant. 

Ryder stares up at the ceiling on the tempest, splayed out in her new bed. What should have been Alec’s bed. Over 36 hours since her father has died and made her pathfinder, since she has last slept. Were it not for SAM, she is certain her body would be trembling from sheer exhaustion. 

Still. She can’t seem to quiet her mind and put herself to sleep. SAM had offered. An hour or so ago. Despite the fact that they are intertwined, despite the fact that she can feel him buzzing along her nervous system, Sara still isn’t entirely comfortable with the AI. Isn’t comfortable with just how much possible control he has over her. 

His voice rings out in the din. 

“I would never harm you, Ryder. That would be akin to harming myself.” 

She makes her own equivalent of a snort. She thinks back at him.

_Noted._

The AI doesn’t respond. So enmeshed with her brain, it knows what she wants before she does; knows that while Sara hates the silence, she doesn’t want to speak with it. Instead, the ear buds in her ear flicker back to life, having paused when the AI spoke. This time they play something human and old school. Some 21st century Finnish band focused only on the Cello. She sits up and grabs her drawing tablet, maybe she doesn’t like Eos but she admits it’s still beautiful. Her world narrows down to the haunting sound of cellos and the slide of her digital pen across glass. 

Digital painting is not the same as physical paint, but it still soothes the ache somewhere deep inside. Besides. Sara’s paints are both still locked away in a box and infinitely precious as she has no idea if she’ll ever get more. 

She’d spent almost twenty four hours planetside. Eos had been her first “assignment” after the disaster of their arrival on the Nexus. 

Things had gotten bad while they’d been in stasis. All four arks assumed missing, dead. Shortages on all supplies, food, water, medi-gel, hell even a rebellion happened in the last year. The arrival of an ark, of a pathfinder, had been met with joy, relief. Up until they saw it was Sara who stood before them and not Alec. 

Tann was the first to speak in the room. 

“Where is the Pathfinder.” 

She’d given them the most sarcastic smile she could have mustered, gesturing silently to herself. 

Addison had looked horrified. Tann had nearly spit at her with his next words, edged in hostility.

“You’re not Ryder.” 

Ah but she was. She just wasn’t the _right_ Ryder. She’d shrugged, arms crossed over her chest, eyes daring him to say anything more. The salarian had narrowed his eyes, stalking away from her, Addison soon following. The only one who’d stayed was the krogan, quickly introduced as Kesh. Kesh had given her a long, measuring look. Whatever she found in Sara, it was met with an odd approval. 

Kesh was the only one she liked. 

After, Tann had given her a ship and a mission. Of course he was only doing it in the hopes of making himself look good, rather than out of any sort of belief in her. He wanted to be seen as the director he pretended to be. 

Eos had been a struggle to say the least. Kett everywhere, the heart-wrenching empty ruins of not one, but two failed outposts, radiation. This wasn’t the vision anyone had for the project when it started. But maybe they should have anticipated it. 

The one thing no one _could have possibly_ predicted was the vault. Sara hadn’t wanted to leave it. In her own mind, it was the archeological find of the millenia. Peebee was the only other one who seemed to understand the delight in her eyes. The sheer thrill of jumping down the well into the unknown. Peebee had shared the same _look_ when they had finally gotten inside. They’d both been breathless with the sheer possibility. 

When it was all said and done, Cora had lectured her on it. Had paced back and forth in front of her in the loading bay about how, Sara was reckless. She was reckless in combat, rushing in with little to no warning, she was reckless in the vault, jumping down into alien technology with no thought or knowledge about what she was getting into, reckless about activating something that had killed her own father and damn near kill them, and did Sara _want_ them to lose another pathfinder, did she _want_ the entire initiative to fail. 

Cora’s not angry at her. Not really. She is still reeling from Alec’s betrayal. He trained her as his second, his successor and then named Sara in his stead. Cora is trying. She knows. Trying to keep a veneer of professionalism but Sara knows first how hard the blow back from Alec burns. 

She doesn’t begrudge Cora her feelings but neither does she entirely trust her. Still, she felt obligated to drag the huntress all over Eos with her. 

When the vault is activated and radiation cleared some, it is Cora and Liam who stand behind her. Cora and Liam, who argue behind her over what kind of outpost she should choose. Ultimately, it is her decision. They will defer to her, regardless of their personal opinions. 

Addison waits over the vid com link, mouth pursed impatiently while Sara thinks. She looks around, thinking. 

Then paces. Addison tries to rush her. Clears her throat pointedly and makes some feeble attempt to stare her down. But Sara can ignore her. Sara has felt the weight of her father’s gaze far heavier than anything Addison can conjure. She knows what her father would pick. Knows, even, what Scott would have picked. She stops pacing.

She twists, turns to the vid com and signs rapidly. SAM has already been designated her translator, so few know galactic sign language and speaks as she signs. 

“This outpost will be for scientific research with one block worth of militia awoken and assigned to it as well.” 

Liam and Cora stare at her. Addison’s mouth is agape but Sara meets her shocked gaze evenly. A moment passes before the woman starts sputtering, regathering her wits at Sara’s audacity. 

“That won’t be happening. You _have_ to choose. We don’t have the supplies for what you want.” 

Sara. Didn’t _have_ to do anything and if the woman on the screen tried to say it one more time, she was going to learn very quickly what Sara’s fist tasted like planted square in her teeth the second she got back to the Nexus. Sara, unlike her brother, had zero qualms about using violence to get her point across. She took a deep breath, trying to calm the inferno that was her temper. Hard to do after twenty two hours sleepless on a radioactive planet with enemies everywhere and covered in what seemed to be giant bug goo. 

She started signing again, her face scrunched into a dark scowl. SAM’s electronic voice filling the area.

“We _cannot_ set up a military outpost alone. Without any sort of food starting to come in, supplies will run out and we will die unless we learn how to harvest and cultivate in Andromeda. We also _cannot_ set up a purely research outpost either because there are too many dangers that colonists aren’t prepared for. They will die. _Again_.”

She begins to pace in front of the screen, needing to get some of the angry energy out of her, still signing away. SAM doesn’t need it, but it is a comfort, both to herself and others that the AI isn’t in control of her. SAM seems to understand when to inflect his voice to convey what she wants and how. 

“Before you even remotely suggest taking from the Nexus militia, I would like to remind you that they are already spread thin and barely able to take care of the Nexus as we speak. I am Pathfinder. You _will_ bring colonists out of stasis for this outpost and at minimum, one block of militia so we may protect our civilians.” 

She has pulled rank and they all know it. Sara stops pacing, watching Addison. Addison’s gaze is nearly hateful. 

Sara doesn’t care. She waits for the response. Eventually the director of colonial affairs grits her teeth and nods, slow. 

“Yes. _Pathfinder._ ” 

It is the first time she has acknowledged Ryder’s role. She will take it. 

On her drawing pad, Eos is almost finished. She has drawn the upper entrance to the vault, the dark, black and glowing screen stands stark against the shades of rust, the light making the murky grey water of the lake surrounding it glitter. A part of her wondered if the water was coming up from the vault. Her eyes were finally bleary, mind exhausted enough to let her fall asleep, pad still close to her face, fingers wrapped around the pen. The music too, follows her into sleep, changing from sharp and emotive to low, melodious and soothing. Bach, she remembers briefly before she succumbs to the exhaustion. 

_______

It is only a few hours later that is awoken by SAM. Sara is still exhausted. 

“Pathfinder, the Tempest has docked at the Nexus. Director Tann is waiting to speak with you.” 

She scowls. Sara can’t stand him. For obvious reasons. He will attempt to take a partial credit for Prodromos. He will say that it was he who gave her the ship and the resources to make it possible for another outpost. 

She slowly gets out of bed, cataloging the various aches and pains, bruises, a few cuts and scrapes that pull and sting. After 600 years of being in a cryo pod, her body is unused to the rigorous activity and even if it wasn’t about the stasis, she still didn’t move like this back in the Milky Way. 

She showers first before throwing on her civilian clothes. A sweater, jeans, and a pair of sneakers. Not the most professional of attires but Sara doesn’t really have anything else and damned if she’s going to waltz around in her armor. There used to be a superstition among the Alliance that wearing your armor outside of duty was asking for trouble to come find you. 

The music of the day is pop. Human and Asari.

She raises a brow at the choice but strugs, making her way off the Tempest. Sara has learned that, in spite of her misgivings at being so connected with SAM, he is helpful. He knows what she wants and when, how to assist her in combat, and what music she needs. She isn't always sure if SAM is a He or an It but eventually she'll figure it out. Alec, despite all odds, made the AI well. SAM had even told Sara he thought the N7 had been emotionally constipated. It had earned him an amused huff. 

Immediately after stepping foot off the ship, Sara was accosted by the people. Scientists, colonists, some of Kandros’ men. 

“Is it true?” 

“Eos has an outpost?” 

“Is it safe to go planetside?” 

Sara nearly takes a step back from them, feeling overwhelmed; stops herself. Ryder’s do not show weakness. She holds up an open palm, the universal sign of pause and thankfully they seem to listen to the silent command, looking at her expectantly. 

She signs slow and careful to them, almost hesitant. She isn’t sure what she should say. Their faces masks of confusion until SAM chimes in. 

“The radiation has, indeed, started to clear thanks to new technology found in Heleus and we have started a new outpost on Eos. We are still far off from where we need to be, but it is a start. And a hopeful one at that.” 

For the first time in her life, Sara tries to sound like her father. It makes her sick to her stomach. Before they can ask more of her, about the technology, about supplies, anything, she brushes past them and walks deeper into the Nexus. The tram hums to life beneath her feet, the pit of dread in her stomach curling all the more tighter. Sara would rather go back to the kaerkyn nest and get smothered in bug goo than go talk with the director. 

Sara made her way past the various Nexus people, going up the stairs and into Tann’s office, ignoring the asari loitering outside of it. She wanted to get this over with and go back to the Tempest. Maybe grab a bottle of ryncol and sit in the kitchen with Drack listening to the old krogan’s war stories. Not that she’d drink that nasty, stomach ruining swill. 

She blinked after walking through the door, being greeted by a salarian that was decidedly not Tann. This one seemed female by voice alone but it was hard to tell with their species. They didn’t seem to have any sexual dimorphism between genders. Sara looked around the once broom closet. It’d been cleared out rather nicely and turned into an actual office. What had been Tann’s corner, previously coined the timeout corner by her and Kesh, had turned into a space for an assistant with Tann’s official desk somewhere up the steps and deeper into the now big room. Sara rolled her eyes. Of course he thought he was important enough to get an assistant. Her lip curled in disgust. They had tried to argue with her over not enough resources for what she wanted but apparently they could spare enough for Tann to get his assistant. Sara stalked up the stairs, anger making her steps louder than they normally would have been. Tann greeted her easily, pleased with her work. Behind her, she heard the door open. Kandros, Kesh, and Addison joining them for the small meeting. 

For nearly an hour the four of them, with Sara listening as number five, went over the list of her accomplishments and what to do next. SAM only cuts in to tell them of the lead she has uncovered. Tann, simpering bureaucrat that he was, gave her full permission to do what she felt she needed for the initiative.

Her eyes narrow and she signs at him. SAM hesitates but Sara pushes him to speak.

“I wasn’t going to ask permission.” 

Addison scowled at Ryder’s disrespect. Kandros coughed to hide his amusement, Kesh smirking as she walked away, missing Tann’s startled face. The three other leaders of the initiative left the room, Tann going back to his desk. She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. There was one last order of business before she could leave. Follow the trail to the active vault that had glowed on the map in Eos’ vault. The first murderer. 

Tann seemed to notice she was still there, lingering. 

“Ryder?” 

Sara flopped into one of the chairs not too far from the desk, ignoring the Salarian’s look of disgust. She didn’t bother with signing this time. Not wanting to put forth the energy. Instead she played the recording they’d found on Eos. The one where Nilken admitted to the murder. He listened and smiled. 

“So then it is settled. Nilken will be exiled and named as Andromeda’s first murderer.” 

Sara shook her head and SAM gave the rest of the evidence. The smile slipped off his face. 

“When examining the remains of the body, the blow that killed Reynolds came from the back. Nilken Rensus was standing in front of him when he was shot.” 

Tann was silent for a few moments, digesting the evidence. 

“This makes things…. Complicated.” 

She snorts. That is an understatement. 

“Considering you are the one who took a personal interest in this case, what do you say we do?” 

Sara’s head snaps to him, eyes wide and panic welling up in her throat. She can’t tell if he’s trying to get out of the consequences of making a decision or being genuine. She is the last person to ask such things. No no. Sara kills kett, activates remnant tech with voodoo AI magic and puzzle solving, irritates Addison by making impossible decisions, and is generally just a disaster. Sara does not make complicated life decisions. She shakes her head at him forcefully. He shrugs. 

“Then we will wait until you have come to a decision regarding the matter.”

She wants to shoot him. Or brick him. Salarian’s are fairly squishy and she’s certain either would do the trick. 

A hand runs through her hair, nervous energy that SAM does nothing to quell and really. She doesn’t want him too. Instead she gets off the couch and goes to the wide windows overlooking the rest of the Nexus, trying to think. It feels wrong to condem a man for a murder he didn’t commit. But neither does it feel right to let a man go when he certainly _intended_ to murder. The music switches. SAM notices that Asari pop isn’t going to help her. Instead he goes back to the oldies, 21st century. She doesn’t even notice the words, too caught up in what to do. She hadn’t yet spoken directly to the Turian but what would be the point? Sara heard the recording. She knew he truly _meant_ to do it. Because he felt like he had to. Desperate people drive to desperate things. 

A hand on her shoulder made Sara jump. Having been too lost in thought to hear the footsteps or her name being called. Her eyes sharpen, focusing on Cora’s face as the older woman stood next to her. The blonde huntress shifts for a moment, nervous. 

“I wanted to talk to you.” 

She raises a brow, twisting to look fully at the woman. It’s not like Cora to be nervous. 

“I know I haven’t been the best to you and I wanted to say I’m sorry. I guess I haven’t really been dealing well with the decisions your old man made. But...”

Cora paused, looking away, out of the windows.

“..After what happened on Eos, I think I get why he picked you and not me. Honestly. I’m not even sure Alec could have done what you did. Not just activating the vault properly but with Addison. Even I only saw two options and I think Alec would have too. Not you. You saw a different path and you weren’t afraid to take it. And honestly, that’s what the initiative needs right now. Someone fearless, unafraid to make the hard decisions. Anyways I just wanted you to know that I have your back and I want to be the best damned second I can be to you.” 

Sara is touched by the words, throat tight and a touched choked. She hadn’t expected that. Not in the slightest. Her lips pinch together, face drawn tight in an effort not to make a fool of herself and cry. She nods at Cora and makes the motion for ‘Thank you’ without SAM needing to translate. The biotic smiles back at her, patting her shoulder once before walking away and leaving Sara to her thoughts. Tann and the others could heap all the praise on her they wanted and it wouldn’t affect her any. Most of them just wanted her to make them look good. Cora was genuine and saw something in Sara in spite of her own complicated feelings on the matter. It is the acknowledgement that Sara does not need to be Alec to succeed. It seemed to be what she needed and her spine straightens, turning back to Tann and walking up to the desk. SAM is already translating as her hands move. 

“Let him go. Kett killed Reynolds.” 

Tann narrowed his eyes. Considering. 

“As you will Ryder. Let us hope this doesn’t come back to you.” 

She rolls her eyes and goes to tell the turian and his distressed wife the good news. The bottom line was he hadn’t technically done it. While maybe he meant to, she remembered speaking to Cassidy, the girl who’d been there, and how she had ruefully admitted that without Nilken they may have all died. One life instead of many. Sara knows that Scott and her Father would have exiled the turian without even thinking. To a soldier, you followed orders, regardless if you disagreed with them or not. You followed until you earned the right to command. To Sara, she did not understand following an order you knew would lead to your death when there was another option available. Only a foolish commander chose to sacrifice more lives when there was another path. . 

Sara tries to ignore the asari still lingering around the director’s office as she’s leaving towards the holding cells. However, she is instead accosted. She practically leaps in front of Sara, begging for an interview for her report piece. Ryder sighs and debates if she should. She nods tiredly.

It is a quick one thankfully and she makes quicker work of having Nilken released. There are only a few things left to do on the Nexus. 

Sara can’t wait to leave, to go back to doing the things she’s good at. After all, there’d still been a giant stronghold of Kett on Eos that she knows Drack will love taking down with her. At least. That had been the plan until Dr. Carlyle comms her to tell her that he and SAM have found a way to speak to Scott.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know in the game Ryder doesn't really talk to anyone to make the outpost decision and that Addison actually shows up on Eos but I didn't feel like that made a lot of sense to me. Addison is the colonial affairs director and it stands to reason that she'd want to talk about the decision for the outpost before it was made. Plus in game when you have special requests to get people out of cryo, you still have to talk to someone to officially sanction the release. Thus. Here, Sara is on comms with Addison before the deployment of the colonists.


	3. The Angara

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! I've been swamped with work and school stuff. Hopefully the next chapter should be up in a few days to make up for the wait on chapter 3.

Sara’s fingers grip the steering wheel of the Nomad tightly, staring unblinkingly out of the windshield. Heavy turian rock sounds off in her ears, matching the fury welling deep down inside. 

Liam is in the passenger seat. His gaze flicks between Sara and outside the vehicle. 

“You can’t be serious Ryder. Please tell me you're joking.” 

His accent comes out heavier in his alarm. 

She continues to stare out the windshield, fingers clenching and unclenching. In the back, Drack shifts in the seats, laughing eagerly. 

In front of them spans the Kett base on Eos. The Nomad is perched in front of it, close enough for those inside the vehicle to see but apparently not close enough for the Kett to be aware. Sara thinks they might be nearsighted. Or maybe they can see and she just isn’t close enough for them to be alarmed. 

Two heavy duty turrets sit positioned on both sides. Also guarded by what looked like two Anointed and a few chosen lurking around the main door. Her head tilts to the side, considering. Turrets should be the first priority. Maybe. 

Fingers tap along the steering wheel thoughtfully. The concern being that if she goes straight for the turrets, it gives the chosen the opportunity to flank them and power through their shields. Or worse, call for backup and overwhelm them. 

But if she doesn’t take out the turrets first, they could easily one shot the three of them. Or worse, blow up the Nomad. 

Gil might murder her if she messes up his baby, Pathfinder or not. 

One hand leaves the wheel, moving to the gear shift and switching the vehicle into reverse. As she backs up, Liam takes a breath of relief, sagging into his seat. She continues until they’re far enough to only barely see the base. 

Behind her she can hear Drack’s huff of disappointment. Nothing beats a krogan’s bloodlust. 

She smirks before quickly putting the vehicle back into drive and nearly slamming her foot on the gas pedal. Rushing like an arrow straight towards the base as fast as the Nomad can go. Liam screams beside her. 

“Ryder!” 

Liam screams in the passenger seat, panicked, hands gripping his seat belt tight. 

Within seconds the Nomand is nearly slamming down the front door to the base. Quick reflexes, a sharp turn of the wheel as she hits the brakes turns the vehicle to its side. With one smooth move she’s taken down the three chosen before the Kett can react. The turrets are turning in their direction, the two Anointed attempting to flank. Instantly Sara is out of the vehicle, throwing an overload at the turret and a biotic throw to try and take out some of the shielding on the Anointed. Somewhere behind her she hears the heavy thud of Drack’s feet gunning straight for the other Turret. 

Liam, though panicking in the Nomad, is all calm and business now. Crisis training taking effect. He directs the attention of the kett wordlessly while she finishes off the heavy guns before they try to finish off the Nomad.

Combat always feels like forever; it ends in instants. Still, as quickly as they took those out there are still at least a few dozen if not more kett inside the actual base itself. Liam gives her a look as she pulls out her assault rifle and heads for the door. 

He still thinks Sara’s crazy, even as he follows her lead. Sara doesn’t bother with subtlety, a snap of her fingers and a pointed finger at the door has Drack slamming through it. Alarms blare the second the door crumples under his weight. 

Sara hears the voices of the Kett calling out in their garbled language.

She smiles. It is not a nice thing. All teeth and vicious hatred. 

____

An hour later leaves them all worn and exhausted. The base has been finished off and the well of Sara’s rage has run dry. 

At the base of her skull, her biotic implant tingles, a buzzing warning that she is close to overloading it and sending her body into shock. Her stomachs cramp from the amount of calories she has burned through.

Drack slams a hand on her back with a laugh, causing her to stumble forward a few steps. 

“You did good, Kid. You fight like a Krogan.” 

She gives a brief smile, a huff of amusement. That’s the highest compliment to his kind. The smile slips off her face and she stares down into the dead eyes of the base’s commander. It’d been a bitch of a fight. Running around dodging the Andromeda equivalent of a laser beam while trying to take out the shields long enough to get a hit in. 

Slaughtering dozens of kett hasn’t fixed the hollow point growing in her chest. It feels like it's growing, swallowing her whole. The meeting with Dr. Carlyle had not gone well. No if anything, Scott’s condition was worse. And likely it was her fault. 

Her fault. 

Because Sara hadn’t been able to bear lying to her twin and had made SAM tell him the truth. 

Sara’s fingers curl tight around the gun still in her grasp, the metal biting sharp and cold into her palm. Tears rise unbidden to her eyes before she pushes them back. Pathfinders don’t have time to cry. Liam and Drack have already started to leave the hell hole. Liam calls back to her. 

“Ryder! What’s the hold up? Let’s go.” 

Sara blinks, coming back from her thoughts and turning from the carcass, slowly following them out. The adrenaline is fading from her body and she can feel the extent of her injuries that had, thus far, not been noticed. She winces. Lexi is going to kill her. SAM does a quick evaluation. There’s no internal bleeding but there are two fractures. Her ribs. Sara suspects it might be when she hadn’t been able to throw a shield up in time and got knocked off her ass and into a wall. 

By the time they reach the outside of the base the Tempest is there waiting, the Nomad already parked in the loading bay. She breathes a sigh of relief. She’d been dreading the inevitable drive back to Prodromos. 

Lexi was there to greet her the second she was fully on board the Tempest. Arms crossed, lips thinned and eyes mixed with an interesting mix of fury and concern. Lexi took one look at her before sighing, pinching the bridge of her nose and signing to Sara. She spoke out loud as her hands moved, always thoughtful of others around, even if they could not hear Ryder’s half of the conversation. The Asari doctor was one of the very few that she’d met that actually knew galactic sign language. 

“Is it your life’s mission to destroy your own body Ryder?” 

Sara scowled back at her. 

“No. The base needed to be taken out.” 

Lexi gave her a _look._

“I heard from Dr. Carlyle that the meeting with your brother didn’t go so well.” 

Sara looked away. Shifting uncomfortably. Drack and Liam watched the two of them and their nearly silent conversation. Lexi pursed her lips, seeing that she wasn’t going to get any sort of answer out of Sara and turned, making the motion of follow for the two of them to go to the med bay. Liam and Drack weren’t nearly as bad off as she was and would be able to help themselves with a bit of medi-gel. Sara on the other hand. Needed a proper binder for her cracked ribs and probably some disinfectant for her split lip and other various injuries. 

She dutifully hopped up onto the patient table, eyes looking anywhere but the doctor. 

Lexi helped her out of her armor pieces. At least the ones that mattered. Her face was pinched in worry. 

“Sara. I know you’re going through a rough time right now. But you can’t solve your problem by fighting things.” 

She snorted. Sure she could. 

Lexi sighed while pulling up her shirt, taking a look at the mottled bruises already forming on pale skin. She pressed against them, ignoring Sara’s sharp hiss. She continued speaking.

“Scott will pull through. And when he does you need to be in one piece.” 

Sara gave another hiss as a needle filled with a mix of medi-gel and pain relief slid through her skin. It didn’t _quite_ hurt, more of a burn sensation that was quickly washed away with the warm welcome of the painkillers spreading through her nervous system, helped along by SAM. Lexi made quick work of wrapping her middle, making sure it was tight. 

“I can’t tell if you think you’re invincible or if you just don’t care.” 

Sara tilted her head, violet eyes watching Lexi. She didn’t really know what to say. It wasn’t as though Sara actually thought herself invincible. She’d learned well enough that she wasn’t. Nor did she not care. It was simply that sometimes her taking a bullet or a blow was easier than one of her team suffering it. She didn’t know how to explain that. Not without peeling away the layers of herself that kept her protected. She sat still as the grave as Lexi worked, much to the Asari’s frustration. 

When she was done she gave Sara another look. Lips pursed in displeasure. 

“You’re free to go. But you’ll need a few hours rest before doing anything. Otherwise your fractures won’t heal properly. Medi-gel works fast but your body still needs time.” 

Sara made the universal gesture for “aye-aye captain” before hopping down off the patient bed and towards the Pathfinder room. Still unwilling to call it _her_ room. A few taps into her omni-tool had orders to Kallo being sent to him. Time to go off to the active vault they’d found. From Eos it was a few hours, even with FTL. 

She found that her eyes were oddly bleary and suspected that Lexi had secretly dosed her with a mild sedative. It was possible. And God knew that Lexi was aware that Ryder wouldn’t sleep otherwise. Sara huffed and got out of the rest of her armor, gently tossing the top pieces she’d grabbed on her way out of the med bay into the corner. She really ought to put them up properly and inspect them for any damages. She stumbles after getting her last boot off and goes straight for the bed, flopping into it ungracefully, sprawling out before succumbing to the darkness that beckoned her. 

SAM’s voice rang out in her head over their private comm a while later.

“Sara. We are close to the vault. You may wish to get up and bathe before we land.” 

Sara stirred in the bed, slowly sitting up in bed. Her body felt better. Still a bit achey, but far from the worst she’d experienced. The medi-gel was doing its job. She frowned, thoughtfully. Since arriving in Andromeda, the few times she’d been able to actually sleep, her dreams had been… odd. From a young age Sara had always had rather vivid dreams but lately, there had been no dreams for her. Just an empty sort of darkness. There was something, lonely, disquieting, about them that she couldn’t quite place. 

She rubbed her eyes clear of sleep before getting up and hopping into her personal shower. Having a personal bathroom was one of the very few benefits of being Pathfinder. She tried to make it quick, a scrub to get rid of all the grime and sweat off her body, no leisure time to relax. Ten minutes later and she was getting out, grabbing her other set of clothes along with her blue scarf to wrap around her neck. An alarm blared just as she finished dressing, her head snapping up. SAM spoke from his console. 

“You are being requested on the bridge Pathfinder.” 

Nothing else needed to be said as she rushed from the room and up the ladder towards Kallo and Suvi. She stalked up, body tense and alert. Kallo didn’t bother turning to her, fingers rapidly tapping on the system dash. 

“We’re on a collision course with several unknown masses. Attempts at making corrections for these masses have failed. We’re slowing speed.” 

SAM spoke. 

“I have attempted these corrections myself. All avenues were not viable due to the scourge.” 

He paused. 

“The masses are moving towards us. Collision will be imminent.” 

Her eyes narrowed and a sharp jerk of her elbow had her closed fist held up near her head. Kallo nodded, bringing the ship to a hard stop just as the Kett militia appeared, sending a hard chill down her spine. The Tempest crew stumbled with the motion. Teeth gnawed on her bottom lip as the dread coiled hard in her stomach. This was likely her fault. Likely a retaliation from the Eos base that they’d demolished. She tried to make herself breath. Deep and even. She hadn’t even _thought_ of retaliation when she went after that base. Had only felt the need to vent her frustrations by killing things that deserved killing. Sara should have realized the Kett would never stand for such an outright attack. Her one selfish act could fall back on all of the initiative and was currently staring her crew in the face. When would she stop fucking things up.

Suvi’s voice rang out first, worry coloring her voice. 

“Ryder.. There’s over a dozen ships.” 

Sara did a quick mental calculation. There was no way out of this. Not really. The Tempest was positioned in such a way that it lay trapped between the scourge and the army of ships before them. The entire ship went dark, a sudden hush falling over the crew gathered at the front of the ship, waiting. 

They weren’t waiting long when the console lit up, the viewing window changing from space to a Kett’s face, moon colored eyes blank and waiting. 

“Where is the one who activated the Remnant? I sense your DNA. 

No one spoke. Sara stayed frozen to the spot. Mind working rapidly. Perhaps it hadn’t been a matter of the base on Eos. Maybe this was all Alec’s fault. She kind of liked that idea. A lot of things were Alec Ryder’s fault. She just inherited the mess. 

The Kett on the screen seemed displeased by the lack of answer. His upper lip curled in a rather familiar display of disgust. 

“You will speak. You will submit. This is the hour that starts the beginning of your ascension to greatness. ”

Sara felt sick at the tone of his voice as he said “ascension.” Something teased at her memory. Certain Kett forces had called themselves ascended. She’d had the impression that it was something like a weirdly religious promotion but intuition told her it was something far worse. What in the fresh fuck was going on in Andromeda. 

“Pathfinder. The Tempest is being steered into the Kett flagship.” 

Kallo was in a flurry, trying to regain control that had been taken away from him. Over their private channel, SAM told her that he was nearly complete in regaining control himself but that he needed time. 

Fuck. What was she supposed to do? 

Sara stepped closer to the console, to where the giant creepy asshole could see her. An emotion akin to satisfaction flickered in his milky eyes. The silence stretched for a moment. Sara felt her skin crawl and prickle, feeling his appraisal of her. She waited only a hair of a second before she got the notice from SAM. She sneered at the screen before giving him the double finger salute, the screen shutting off, console flickering back to life and showing them the armada in front of them. Kall breathed a sigh of relief that quickly turned back to panic as SAM charted them a course and set the Tempest on it. 

“I have set a course through the Scourge.” 

Cora looked up at the ceiling in alarm, trying to pinpoint where SAM’s voice came from. 

“I’m sorry did you say _through_ the scourge?” 

“Pathfinder Ryder has already approved of the course. No other options were presented. The rate of survival had the Kett been successful in steering the ship into the armada was 20%. The rate of going through the scourge with my course is 75%” 

Both Suvi and Kallo typed away at their own stations, trying to keep the ship in working pieces through SAM’s path but there were still a few Kett ships to contend with, having followed them into the dark energy field. The ship rattled and Sara turned to Suvi, seeking clarification. 

“Kett ship down. One left on the sensors.” 

She pursed her lips, tense and waiting. Trying to even out her breathing. There was nothing more she could do but wait as Kallo followed SAM’s plot through with Suvi keeping track of the sensors. The viewing port showed nothing save for the webs of energy that the ship very narrowly tracked through. A sharp turn to the left had the other Kett vessel too slow to react, slamming into the webs, instantly swallowed by it. 

There was only the barest hint of an opening that the ship was aiming for, the end to this stretch of scourge, and it was there that Sara realized that the scourge _moved._ It was not the stagnant, stationary thing she had assumed. Waves of dark energy twisted and shifted, strands entwining around one another in a slow dance. Darkly beautiful indeed. There was a loud thunk and the Tempest swerved a bit before going back on track as they left the field of energy. Everyone in the ship swayed to keep balance with the movement. Shit. The scourge had clipped them. Just as the thought crossed her mind, Gil’s voice crackled over the comms. 

“Ryder. There’s a problem. We need to find a port. Stat.” 

His voice was urgent. Though calm. Good. Gil was good under pressure. A planet loomed in front of them. She thought at her AI. 

_SAM did you send us to the vault coordinates_ **_through_ ** _the scourge?_

He answered her through the private channel.

_Of course Pathfinder._

Holy shit. That was some damn good calculation.

_Thank you._

The Tempest slowed, dropping down into atmo of the planet. Dark mountains, rivers of fire and dark clouds greeted their vision. Almost instantly ships appeared again. Sending Sara’s heart rate skyrocketing. 

“They’re trying to contact us.” 

Suvi looked to Sara in askance. She bit her lip. The Kett had never remotely tried to contact them beyond shooting on sight. Didn’t look like Kett ships either. She nodded sharply at Suvi and the rapid tapping following. A click, static, and then the voices followed. A language no one recognized. 

“Tove jagalesh do!” 

Didn’t seem hostile. Nor was it the guttural mess that Kett screeched at her in combat. The message repeated. The voice seeming impatient. She gave a frustrated huff. Fucking Alec. She started signing, trusting in SAM to speak for her. 

“We were running from the Kett. Our ship is damaged from the scourge and we need a landing port. We mean no harm.” 

There was a long pause over the comms. The ships outside surrounded them on all sides. 

“They sent us coordinates and forcing us to land.” 

She nodded, making the swooping down motion with a hand. So then they would land. And pray this wasn’t a trick. Sara looked down at her outfit, brushing her hands down her front. At least she was clean. Outside the painted red landscape faded to brown before turning into a lush green. Her breath caught and she wasn’t the only one staring. The small oasis among the almost red was a paradise. A piece of what the initiative had tried to promise back in the Milkyway. 

The Tempest finally came to a stop, the other ships landing nearby. Everyone stopped to stare at her. Pathfinder duties. She would be first contact. Fuck. Right. That was Alec’s brilliant idea. Let's make the mute one in charge of making peace with a new civilization. Maybe he’d thought that the Kett were the only aliens in this galaxy so the problem wouldn’t have come up. 

_That is mathematically unlikely given the number of species that originated from the Milkyway._

_Thanks SAM_

_You are welcome Sara._

There was a long pause. He. It. Was thinking. 

_That was sarcasm. Wasn’t it?_

_Yes, SAM._

“You’ve got this Ryder.” 

Cora stood near the door. Attention position. Not even offering to go in her stead. She had really meant it about having Ryder’s back. Vetra was on the other side, mandibles drawn tight, worry etched in her face. 

She snapped back to herself. Right. Yes. Pathfinder. Things. She turned and trotted slightly down to the landing before slowing to a walk. No running. Running might be bad. Her hands were sweating. Sara tried to wipe them on her pants before silently ordering SAM to adjust her nervous system. She didn’t know what they might be capable of biologically, what they might be able to sense from her. Scott would have made some joke. Try to lighten the mood. Talk about not viding his death even if it was funny. Scott always made jokes. Off the ramp and onto another, instantly Sara saw them, rushing towards her with guns drawn. 

Her hands were up, palms out to show she had nothing on her. No armor. No weapons. SAM kept her heart rate even. She walked slow, trying to seem as little a threat to them as possible. Getting shot sucked with armor on. It was going to suck more without it. They surrounded her on all sides, much like the ships had done with the Tempest. They scanned her first. At least she assumed it was a scan, the way the blue light flicked up and down her form. They made a path for her. Slightly, an indication that she should move forward. Still, the guns never left her, only this time they moved to her back and sides. Sara felt like it was wise to keep her hands up as she walked. 

The pathway opened up, more of the aliens stood up a small flight of steps. Five stood in a row at the top, blocking the path forward. Of these, only one had a gun, more loosely held and pointed at the ground. None of them had the helmets. Or the armor. Maybe they didn’t mean to kill her, executioner style from the back. 

Breathe in. Breathe out.

One steps forward. Female, she thinks. Female because this one is smaller than the two on the end, petite and shorter in comparison to the bulk of the ones Sara assumes are male. The face rounder, the folds around the face smaller. 

“I am Paraan Shie. Governor of Aya and we,” She, for the voice is what Sara would consider female, gestures to the aliens around her, “are the Angara.” 

She levels a look at Sara. 

Sara shifts, looks around cautiously, ever aware of the guns at her back, before stepping forward a small bit, and taking her hands down to use them to sign. 

“I am Pathfinder Ryder of the initiative. I am sorry for the way we appeared. The voice you hear speaking is SAM, my translator and the movements of my hands are a silent language.” 

Paraan Shie pauses, watching her hands in what seems like fascination but Sara is unsure if emotion reads the same way across dark space. Slowly the governor nods.

“I have heard of your journey. Those who crossed darkspace. Quite daring-” 

She is cut off as another Angara storms forward from behind the line. Her lips turn into a line of displeasure. 

“Jaal..” 

The purple and fuchsia one holds up a hand in the same way Ryder would to stop someone from speaking. He says something too quiet for her to hear before he storms up to Sara, bending down so that he is almost nose to nose with her. 

He’s pretty. 

Scratch that. Angara are pretty. 

His voice is a low growl. 

“Aya is hidden and protected. What do you want?” 

She makes the mimic of the Tempest getting hit by the scourge. 

“We were attacked by Kett and our ship damaged. This was not our intent to introduce ourselves this way.” 

The male jerks back, confusion in his eyes. She thinks that the Angara do not like a voice that speaks for her. He turns away, back to the governor and speaks of another, waiting. An Evfra. Sara sighs silently through her nose. This is going to be a long, exhausting day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I skipped over the scene with Scott in the coma but I swear we'll come back to it. Sara just didn't want to talk about it right now. 
> 
> These chapters feel a little slow because they're little too cannon. But soon we'll be able to get into the fleshier bits of the story were things diverge some. 
> 
> It's also a major challenge trying to balance character interactions because it's really hard to have a character who can't really connect with others well but I am enjoying it and I hope you guys are too.


	4. Meetings

Sara stands in front of one Evfra De Tershaav. Leader of the Resistance and General of the Angara. 

The meeting isn’t going well. 

Sara wants to hit him. 

He has sneered at her no less than twice and already excused her of trying to manipulate his people the same way the Kett have. She has already explained that all she wants is to see their vault, that the initiative does not wish to take from them, only find their own path in a new galaxy. She has, again, tried the sound like Alec technique. It doesn’t help. 

He sniffs, turns his back to her, looking out a vast window. 

“Aya does have one of the vaults you seek. But it’s locked away and no one can access it.” 

Great. He wasn’t going to let her even try. Before she can really give up, Jaal speaks up excitedly. He speaks of someone they call Moshae, someone who could, in fact, help them. She isn’t sure if this is a title or a name. Evfra scowls at Jaal, shaking his head. 

“She is captured by the kett. Any attempts at rescue have failed and I will not lose more angara to a doomed mission.” 

Her hands move before her mind does. 

“Let me try.” 

Evfra’s head snaps back in shock at her offer. A galaxy apart and Sara still knows the sign of rage. He’s _pissed._ Something like electro-static energy pulses, skittering across her skin, but only just barely sensed. 

“Arrogant. You think that you, a soundless child from another galaxy can do what the angara cannot? The sheer gall. We have been fighting this war well before you arrived here and we shall continue to do so.”

Sara’s jaw creaks from how hard she has begun to clench her teeth. Biotic energy swirls just beneath her skin, giving off an eerily similar beat to the energy she’d felt only seconds before. Her hands move quick, almost jerky out of rage. 

“I’m the arrogant child? Funny considering you are so prideful that you cannot even pull your head out of your ass far enough to see the truth of the matter.” 

He sputters in his own anger, furious that she dare strike back. He opens his mouth to speak again but she cuts him off with a swift wave of her hand before continuing what was building into a rant. 

“It is not arrogant to realize that the kett have no defense against my people. We who have come from a dozen different cultures, we who can adapt at the drop of a hat. The kett have spent generations not only fighting the angara, but observing you all. They have no such advantage against the initiative. They do not know our weapons. Our fighting styles. They do not know the weak points in our armor or the most effective way to take out Krogan, who I might like to add, can lose almost all of their organs at least once and still survive. It is not arrogant to assume that we might succeed where the angara did not simply because we are different from the angara in ways that the kett cannot expect or count for.” 

He stares at her. Her biotics still glow just underneath her skin. Her chin juts up in a show of defiance. 

“Since I am just a mute child I suppose it’s no problem to you that I have no desire to work with a prideful, pisspot of a person.” 

The anger burns, bleeding through in the form of her biotics. She wants to scream. She wants to hiss words dramatically and verbally flay him. She wants a voice that is her own. 

She turns on her heel, walking out of the doors she’d originally come through. The open to reveal the governor on the other side. A worried look in her eyes. 

“Please escort me back to my ship.” 

She gives a look between Sara and the door before sighing and nodding, starting the walk back. This time there are less people milling about to stare and gasp, no one to call her a thing or talk about caging her like an animal. No guns trained at her back. She sighed, running a hand through her hair in frustration. The further she got from the General, the more she is kicking herself, the anger calming. The initiative needs them. Sara does not know how to salvage this. More than that though, Sara does, genuinely, want to help them. She’d spoken with Jaal for a few minutes before the meeting with Evfra. They have been hunted by the kett in a way that makes her ache. Even the first contact war between human militia and the turian hierarchy had been on more even ground than this. This was more akin to a slow, creeping genocide. 

As they approached the Tempest there was still that worried, pinched look on Paraan's face. Sara paused to stare at her, trying to decipher it. 

She blinked. Ah. Duh.

“There will be no retaliation on the angara from us. Have no fear Governor. We do not wish war or hatred or any more death.” 

The tension in the other woman’s body eased a bit. Her hand came up to rest on Sara’s shoulder. The same buzzing, silent hum was felt again. This time softer, a different pattern that pulsed and swirled. 

_It seems the Angara have an unusually high bioelectric field._

That private channel was getting handy. 

Huh. That’s what she was feeling then. Questions ran rampant. Was it tuned to their emotions? Or did they control it? 

“You must understand that Evfra is simply distrustful. The Angara have been burned before. He does not wish to see it happen again.” 

Sara tilted her head, waiting for her to finish. Paaran moves, her hand leaving Sara, coming to twist and pull at her fingers anxiously, the topic obviously a difficult one. The older woman does not look at her as she continues her tale of how the kett war was born. 

“When the kett first came to the angara. It was with offers of peace and trade. At some point they turned us against each other. Our peoples went missing, were assassinated and it was blamed on different factions. It took far too long to realize who the true enemy was and by then…. Too late for so many. Evfra fears that you are just a repeat of that history. That if he gives you a chance, it will doom the angara all over again. ” 

Sara’s heart breaks for them. She knows, in a faint way that Lexi would _almost_ approve of, that lashing out at the general hadn’t really been about his comment on her disability, but rather her own building emotions that had no true outlet. She gets it a little bit more. The hostility. The comments about locking her up. Aya was their safe place and she’d invaded it. She looks at the woman beside her. 

“Perhaps we may still one day be allies. On your terms. When I am not accidentally invading the place safest to your people.” 

Sara is rewarded with a cautious smile. Before she can turn up the ramp and into her ship there is a yell from behind them. 

“Wait!” 

They both turn to see Jaal running towards them full tilt, gun and something like a cloth bag strapped to his back. Ah shit. Evfra changed his mind about letting her go peacefully. Jaal comes skidding to a halt in front of them, breathing heavily. His starburst eyes bright with excitement. He looks to her specifically, chin ducked down and nearly pressed into his collar bone, a wide smile on his face. 

“I wish to go with you. To save the Moshae.” 

Her confusion is clear. 

Jaal gives a rumbling laugh, shrugging. 

“Evfra has changed his mind. He is permitting you to try. Under the condition that I go with you as a…. Ambassador of sorts for the resistance.” 

Sara looks up at him and nods, giving a smile herself. She gives a small wave of goodbye to the governor and walks up the ramp into the Tempest, motioning for Jaal to follow. She is not stupid enough to ask him to walk in front of her nor would he be stupid enough to accept such an offer. He wants to go with her to save someone important but that does not mean he trusts her. Still. She wonders at why the general changed his mind and ends up asking Jaal. He laughs. 

“Because. You were true.” 

She twists to look back at him in confusion, nearing the top of the ramp. She waits patiently for a second or two for him to join before hitting the button that would close it behind them. The angara makes a frustrated noise. Trying to find the right words. 

“The angara are… an emotional people. We are honest and open, free with who we are. There is no holding back what we feel and no shame in it either. Evfra is hard because not only is it difficult to trust the word of someone who cannot speak for themselves, but because your first greeting with him was one that was..” 

Jaal paused again, face drawn in the same way a human’s brow would furrow. 

“It seemed as though you were hiding something. It did not ease his mistrust. In yelling at him the way you did, which no one ever yells at Evfra, you showed him something honest, something real and part of you. Something that might be worthy of believing in.”

Sara is thoughtful, mulls this over. Perhaps. Trying to channel Alec wasn’t a good idea. Fuck. She should have known that. She shakes her head. Now isn’t the time. Jaal will need a grand tour of the ship. 

In the end, after a quick tour to show him everything, he sets up in the tech lab. He doesn’t want to sleep in the same quarters as the rest of the crew and that’s fine. He tucks his things into the back corner and maybe Sara ought to worry about the strange alien in a room where all the guns and dangerous things he could put together are but there’s something about him that makes her trust that he will not harm them. 

After he is mostly settled into his corner, she has SAM call for a meeting in the conference deck, patiently waiting for everyone to join, Jaal sits behind her, watching everyone with curious eyes as they come up. Kallo has already lifted them off of Aya, repairs having been made while she’d been speaking with the higher ups of the planet, and off toward a set of coordinates that Jaal had sent to her. It doesn’t take them long to assemble, watching the new alien behind with curious eyes. Drack looks at him with narrowed eyes, wary. Peebee complains about not being able to look around and Cora mentions how the contact went well. If Sara could snort she would. They assume that Jaal being there meant it went well. She idly picks at a thread in her scarf. She’s not so sure Cora would be as supportive if she knew _half_ of what Sara had said to one of the leaders on Aya. She waves a hand to hush them before her hands move to tell them of their new mission. The one for the Moshae. Instantly, there is dissent. For a moment they have forgotten her, arguing amongst themselves. 

“How can we help anyone when we can’t help our own people?” 

She sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose. Cora is not heartless, merely pragmatic. 

“I agree. The vault should come first.” 

This comes from Peebee and Sara levels a look at her that is ignored. Peebee just wants in the vaults rather than any sense of duty. Drack grumbles something about another mouth to feed that makes her jaw clench. Sara has had enough. 

There is a loud bang that makes everyone jump, falling silent, turning to look at her. Her hand is flat on the table from where she’d slammed it down, skin tingling with a sharp heat. She looks them in the eyes one by one until she knows she has their attention before signing. 

“This is about the bigger picture. Beyond the initiative. Beyond the vaults. Our home is here now. The Angara have been through hell. Not just slaughtered but kidnapped by the kett. What would any of us do if our people were the ones being taken? Not even knowing if they’re dead or alive. And how long do you think before the kett start doing the same to us? Our home is here. We, the initiative and the Angara, are in the same boat now. We have to help each other. It is the only way.” 

There is no sign for angara in GSL. Instead she makes it up as she goes, combining the sign for cat and squid while using three fingers in a wave down her face to represent their cowl. It is an odd combination and someone somewhere probably wants to kill her for mangling their language. She's not sure it matters either way since no one else understands save for Lexi and Scott. Sara thinks Scott would love it. She hasn't come up with sign names for her people yet but she is certain she will in time. Signing each letter is exhausting.

She looks to Jaal, nodding. They’d discussed him speaking with the crew. He steps off the couch and forward, cautiously, most likely feeling all eyes on him. She doesn't know how he feels, surrounded by aliens on a ship far from home with every possibility that he could be killed. They would never, of course, but Jaal does not yet know this, does not know to trust them yet. He begins to speak of the two worlds. Of Voeld and Havarl. She types into her omni-tool, bringing up the holograms of both worlds. They all listen as his voice explains what each planet means to the angara and what they’ll be doing on each. Sara has already chosen Voeld first. It is where they believe the Moshae to be. She doesn’t wish to risk not being able to save the scientist by putting it off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. There was a lot of hostility there. A lot that's not really present in the game and I kind of reason its because of Sara's inability to speak. Angara, not only are they really emotive, they're also untrusting of Ryder to begin with. The angara tend to communicate a lot verbally and with their bioelectrical fields. Sara doesn't have either of those things. Nope. She's got a robot voice that doesn't really sound emotive. Therefore they're a little more hostile to her than they would Scott.


End file.
